Woke up early.. when to play soccer near TP.. muddy field.. to make it worse i was wearin my street soccer boots.. slip sliding all ard.. had 3 chances.. first shot straight at the keeper.. second i hit the bottom right pole.. third i hit the crossbar.. bullshit.. and i got tackled twice that made me fall flat on the muddy floor.. got a scratch on my face too.. disfigured.. lol.. got back home.. mum and i when straight to the washing.. brushed and scrub.. till all's clean..

Had a talk with Gerald over on msn.. thanks for your concern.. and thanks to all my friends who care for me.. i really appreciate it.. we had an exchange of perceptions.. facts.. its nice.. to be able to do such things.. we should do it often.. but you could not talk me out of it.. cause its just too hard.. even after putting the facts right infront of my face.. i still cant accept.. i just cant.. even though im willingly strangling myself.. Gerald i know its hard to see me lyk that.. and to all those concern.. just let me be.. this is my only way out..

Life is slightly better now.. though still not that good.. in life you have to learn to let go.. but i cant seem to.. i just cant.. my love for you is still strong.. its not fading.. why..? can someone please tell me..? i'm contented to see you being able to live through this period with such ease.. i'm happy for you.. how abt my life..? theres nothing much to be happy about anyway.. life's so empty.. so grey.. without you.. i remember i once told you.. you must not leave me.. cause your just so important to me.. and nothing has changed..

If you dont try, you'll never succeed.. if you die at least you know you died trying..