Felt like messaging you today.. just wana know how you've been doing.. i even prepared the message.. but i froze just as i was about to send it.. something just stopped me.. in my mind, i was thinking.. how would you feel..? how would it affect you..? too much came to my mind.. i just deleted the message.. i'm just too useless.. a failure in everything.. relationships, friendships and even my studies.. people say life has a way of ironing out itself.. it makes up in whatever you lack.. somehow i cant find my niche.. something i'm good at.. maybe i'm good for nothing i guess.. life has given me so much.. too much i guess.. my material needs are always satisfied.. but i just realised.. what i really want out of life.. it isnt all that clothes i have in my cupboard.. the money i have in my wallet.. its You, all my buddies and my family.. but i came to realise too late.. way too late.. i lost everything...

i could feel myself plunging..

plunging..

plunging..

dead...