Went to TP this morning to play soccer.. with Minkay, Gabriel, Jeremy and his friends.. hurt my left ankle again.. reoccuring injury.. hurt the metatarsal bone of my right feet.. hobbling as i walk.. painful! went home bathed changed went back to TP.. this time to play tennis.. with Shihan, Gerald, Cassandra and Jeremy.. although it was drizzling, we had lotsa fun.. want to do it again soon.. maybe we should play every week..? exercise frees my soul from all the pains..

I was selfish.. too selfish.. i caused things to be this way.. i didnt want to let you just go like that.. i fought and gave my all to make you stay.. i failed.. miserably too.. i felt that i could have made you happy.. maybe it was all meant to be this way.. i was too naive.. this relationship has struck me down time and time again.. the thought of you're not here with me is so devastating.. i'm too selfish.. i shouldnt be like this.. i'm so happy for you to see you being able to be You again.. the You that i loved and still do.. may you be happy always.. forever if possible.. if i could just see you smiling back at me again.. i'll be contented.. the smile that captivated my heart.. even just thinkin about it brings back so much wonderful memories.. memories so close to my heart.. they'll always be memories but nothing more.. eventhough how much i want it to change.. i'm still in the process of changing for the better me.. not just for you.. even after such a period.. i still see myself waiting.. mayb at a distance.. darent not get close.. cause you're too special and i should keep it that way.. i know you want me to be happy.. i'm to a certain extent happy, with what i have now.. this is a path i chosen.. i'll have no regrets.. only time will tell whether i really do love you...

For in the end, we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught...