Didnt go to school today.. Fever was bad.. it was all cold in the morning.. just slept.. woke up at 10plus.. my body was feeling out of sorts.. was running a pretty bad fever and had phlegm in my thoart.. had porridge and saw the Doc at 2plus.. got 2 days MC including today.. just in case.. need more rest.. feeling slightly drowzy from the medication..

i wana message you you much to tell you how i'm feeling.. i even saved the sms.. but send them to you would just be hurtin you.. so i deleted them anyway.. haiz.. i wana do so much.. but feel so restricted.. controlling my emotions.. and praying.. that what i do will pay off.. i need some rest.. may i see you in my dreams.. miss ya...

Woken up by my mum.. she was quarelling over the phone with my grandma.. she told of how the divorce was inevitable unless my dad apologise to her sincerely and whole-heartedly.. sounds easy but both of them are stubborn people.. they both think what they are doing is right.. i wish so much to be able to just not listen to all this crap that hurts me.. i feel so "numbed".. divorce then divorce cant be bothered with them.. i'm not worried for myself.. i'm scared but i shut myself out.. telling myself everything would be fine.. i'm more worried for my sisters on how they gona take it.. hope my illness kills me.. maybe thats the only way out.. then everything would be fine again.. then my parents would treasure one another and keep the family together.. what i can do now is to act as though everything is fine.. so that my parents wouldnt be worried for me.. its taking it toll though.. i hope i pull through..

I wished I had You with me through this torrid times.. at least life would seem less bleak.. and more purposeful.. but thats out of the question i guess..

Suddenly my parents have made up i guess.. i dont know how.. i mean they just come back and look as though everything was fine.. they talked too.. pretty amazing.. anyway.. just hope it lasts.. God answered my prayers.. will he answer the one prayer that i really want answered..? time will tell...

I pray to God may You be blessed.. Exceling in whatever You do.. may Your life be filled with happiness.. & all Your friends by your side.. may You find the one that You will love.. & may that person love, care and protect You.. if not i'll always be there for You when you need me..

He who has health has hope; and he who has hope has everything...